STOPPA is a not-for-profit organisation established to help stop Parental Alienation (‘PA’) in the UK, as well as to contribute to the debate on a wider scale. There are no joining or other fees. What we do ask for please is your contribution to our survey, so that we can build a picture of what is happening in our family courts, to visit our blog, and for you to register your interest in our proposed class action. Our focus is LAW, but we aim to provide a ‘hub’ for alienated or ‘targeted’ parents (‘TPs’) providing guidance as to the resources available both nationally and internationally for those affected by PA. Throughout the site, we will give you ‘top tips’ on how to deal with judges, lawyers, CAFCASS and others.
Please feel free to browse around and let us know your views by completing our survey.
What is Parental Alienation (PA)?
“A process and the result of, the psychological manipulation of a child into showing unwarranted fear, disrespect or hostility towards a parent or other members of the family”
It is a kind of brainwashing of the child by the ‘Alienating’ parent (‘AP’), fuelled by hatred of you, the ‘target’ parent (‘TP’). Essentially, the AP is ‘turning’ your child against you. They want you out of your child’s life.
In the initial (conditioning) stage, the child learns that a good experience with you will be punished by the AP, and that reporting a bad experience with you will be rewarded. The child soon gets the hang of this and is ‘recruited’ as a little soldier for the army of the hostile-aggressive parent, who will usually attempt to recruit other family members, teachers, CAFCASS officers, and others. The child learns which behaviours get rewarded and which get punished, and soon initiates actions of its own accord – like a runner in a relay race, it ‘takes up the baton’ as it were. In the next stage, the toxic parent says that they try to encourage contact but the child is having none of it…the alienator hides behind the programmed child. This is seen many times, for example at para 22 of D vs H 2011] EWHC 3521 (Fam) where Hedley J observes:
“The second thing to say is that the child’s undoubted superficial opposition to contact provides a convenient cloak at the present time behind which the mother can shelter her concerns about contact. … It is beyond question, in my judgment, that E has fully absorbed not just the views but the force with which they are held and that the mother’s attitude and the mother’s making clear to E that contact was in fact a matter for her choice amounts in practice to an implicit encouragement to resist contact”
PA is perpetrated by cowards.
It is no respecter of demographics. Both genders do it, as do people of all colours, races, classes and ages. But one thing that is common to all cases is that the alienating parent is invariably narcissistic, and sadistic. They hate you. They hate you more than they love their own child which is why they are perfectly prepared to use your child to hurt you, and harm your child in the process.
PA is a hate crime.
Our site is intended for TPs wishing to rectify the injustice you and your children have suffered at the hands of your ex-partners, a harm that is enabled, compounded, and perpetuated by a ‘system’ that is not supporting the best interests of our children – court orders, for example, are routinely ignored by Alienating Parents (APs), without consequence…:
Sir James Munby, President of the Family Court, says this:
“Other things being equal, swift, efficient, enforcement of existing court orders is surely called for at the first sign of trouble. A flabby judicial response sends a very damaging message to the defaulting parent, who is encouraged to believe that court orders can be ignored with impunity, and potentially also to the child.”
And that was more than a decade ago…unfortunately not much has changed. Only 1.2% of applications to enforce court orders were successful in 2015.
You can also find here Facebook support groups and campaigning groups, news, guidance about using experts and lawyers, funding your case (or doing it yourself as an ‘LIP’ (Litigant in Person)), and recommendations as to how things might change, to improve the way PA cases are dealt with in the UK and elsewhere.
Awareness of Parental Alienation is growing. Times are changing.
Parental Alienation must stop now
In some countries, PA is a criminal offence. STOPPA asks that it be made a crime in the UK also.
The time for sorrow and desolation is over. The tears have dried now. It is time for action.
Together we can beat this
The Family Court system is replete with judicial error. But we can do something about it, and, as a wise man once said “An error does not become a mistake until you refuse to correct it”